In all my years as a lecherous homosexual, I have never, not even once, hooked up with someone in my hometown. And so, whenever I find myself in my old room with its lovely view of the mountains and the miles upon miles of yellow grass we call the Great Plains, I am forced to find another outlet for my sexual energy — one that doesn’t involve actually meeting anyone. Scruff is different from its notorious counterpart Grindr in a number of ways. You can “woof” at people you find attractive instead of messaging them, an appealing option for an introvert. I still have nightmares about this person: nightmares where I am thirteen again, standing in the hallways of my tiny school out in the middle of nowhere. That was me: A weird-ass tree that had grown up, around, and in spite of something, shaping myself to it even after that “something” had long gone. This person wasn’t the one-dimensional villain I’d made him out to be.
The primary reason being: My hometown is miles away from anywhere an openly gay man would likely take up residence. But most importantly, unlike distance-based dating apps, you can talk to people from all over the world. My mission in these nightmares is to avoid being seen, to hide behind locker doors until I make it to the safety of the bathroom. I think it was the casual way he joined in on the harassment that made me hate him. He doesn’t know it, but he’s had a major impact on my life. I would lash out.“Dude,” the other person might say.
The show regularly has LGBT characters come in and out of its crosshairs, notably in the episode airing tonight, Wednesday, Sept.
30, but there has never been an out LGBT main hero cop or DA. You betcha, according to series stars Peter Scanavino and Raúl Esparza.
Scanavino, the newest addition to the cast as Detective Dominick "Sonny" Carisi, said he'd be completely fine if they had his character come out of the closet.
"Although they have talked about my ex-girlfriends a lot."Esparza, who is of Cuban descent, said it'd be great to "think about representing anything beyond sort of the standard white guy that's always been the center of it.""Whatever we might come up with.
He always, without fail, has as his default picture a horrifying photograph of a human head mounted on a wall with gazelle antlers sprouting from its skull. Unwilling to become the next head on the white male’s wall, and too lazy to entertain the idea of driving thirty minutes to meet up with guys from the nearest city, I typically choose to spend my time on Scruff chatting up men from Brazil. I came to see him as the embodiment of what had happened to me. Whenever someone tried to confront me, even in a respectful way, I would see his face again.
Sometimes they teach me disgusting words in Portuguese (a service you won’t find on Rosetta Stone). It was my former middle school, the one where I’d been mercilessly bullied for being gay. This was my body saying, “You’re in danger.”I didn’t really have one bully. And this guy's blank dating profile provided didn’t narrow it down much.
But what if you can’t move to a gay hub like San Francisco or New York City?
While it might be a bit more arduous in the farmlands of Iowa, for example, love can happen anywhere and when you least expect it.
“It's home-cooked food, and I wanted it to be somewhere a little dim,” Nelson said.